From September 2014....up to November?

How it started off? I had no financial means to fly to UK, but dad's constant prayers was for me to finish it off asap. Finally, barely a month to deadline, I got the means to fly to UK on 19th September to finish my third year. Preparation took a whole good time of my time and by the time I realised, it was almost the week I am flying off already. Mom was very emotional. A small misunderstanding will make her sad. She was not ready to part from me for one good year (well to be precise 10 months). After preparing all that I need, well I thought I need, 19th September came in a rush. Me being me, my clumsiness was at top notch. I barely slept as I couldn't pack anything at all because my weighing scale was showing overweight for everything until I realised my grave mistake, that is to read the pounds rather than the kg measurement scale. Imagine the sleepless me and packing stuffs barely 10kg and its showing '22kg'. At that time, it was not funny as I was in highly irritable mode and panicky as well. Now to think about my stupidity, I laugh but I reckon it will serve as a good lesson forever in my life.

So, as I was leaving, I had only one proper friend who would wanna go to the same uni as me that's University of Hertfordshire. Let's name her Jit. I do know almost half of my class is going to the same University as well, its just that I had always been discreet, so I didn't look forward to make friends with the brats whom I hardly spoke to in the class. Nevertheless, the other girls who used to be my friend were so busy making their group big, that I got stucked in between. So, this person Jit transformed to someone else different from the person I knew in the class. She got so close to this girl, who had an invisible label of 'BITCH'. Me being me, tried not to bother, but it is not something can be done easily to be honest. So I faced a rough patch. I was so quiet, that it was insane and my mind got louder day by day. I had good days and bad days. A combination. Nevertheless, an experience is always an experience. People teach you two things generally. One is on how to be, second is on how to not be. I learnt the second part the most for the first few weeks.

So, during the first few weeks, we had orientations. My jetlag was so bad that I was the one who was always late to everything. hehe. Events with free food is our favourite one. There were drinks too always. We even went for colour run and all. Our ass froze! Curse the rain!!.Pika, Jit and I went. It was really fun tho. I enjoyed the day.

Then, slowly we started exploring the city we were in. Our first get away was to St. Albans. The nearby city. We went there in a big group. It was really cool. Well, almost all the place in England is very English. Haha. We being Malaysians we were very awestruck. Hatfield is quite a business centre. So there is no sign of Cathedral or anything. Nearby town was St.Albans. There was a beer festival, for which the boys, the Vins were excited. After all they had been partying all days and nights!

Attending orientations..

The cathedral in St. Albans. There was a casket shop right beside it. Talk about business. lol

During the second visit to St.Albans with the crew that stayed together till the end :)

The girls!!

Desi Night! 

So, I stop till here for this first part.Visits to London and more eventful days and nights together with classes for year 3 will be continued in the next post. :)

Time flies

The constant battle between my heart and head shows how much of a thinker I am. Thinking from all perspective I could think of is what I do everyday. Decision-making is not easy especially when it involves something major. My friend claims I am too much of a complex thinker even for a simple matter. I dont think I am that bad. But yeah I agree I do think a lot. So, in the short stay here I decided the place I am living currently is not for me. Why? Because I didn't like it. I didn't like my roommate who would only speak to me if she feels like speaking, the creaking bed that makes noise every time I move, the non-existent fan, the non-friendly family that renting out the room, and their messy refrigerator and of all the walk I have to do everyday passing a huge 4 lane road. I just didn't like it. But today morning as I walked the usual path, I was greeted good morning by the slightly hunching old woman, with pleasant smile holding her breakfast and newspaper, made me to rethink of my decision. I have grown to like the place. I know I would not have such cute old ladies wishing me good morning at my previous place in Brickfields. I might come across ladies who is in pissed off mode all the time. Anyway, its too late to change my mind either. Going back to the notorious city I lived in. OH and I got internet at that place. Hehehe. Well, all I gotta wish is all is well. Anyway I have not posted anything in detail about my UK experience or the 5 European country I visited. I solemnly swear my next post will be about my 10 adventurous months.

I DRAMA A LOT. Don't read.

So, today, to make my day wonderful, my boss just decided to scold me for what I will say not my mistake. When you are not organised, of course mistakes happen. I am here, newly, with 0 working experience, to learn but here they assume I know whatever they think I would know. I know I am learning, but haish..and they go on like every law firm is like this. Being organised is the key to everything. The PCs here doesn't work the way it supposed to. Can't even set the time then how am I to keep track? By my mind? Wonderful. I was smiling when he scolded, I guess that's my mechanism to not cry or feel down quickly. Haish. A bad day. Oh..I got my first pay today. A supposed to be happy day but turned out the opposite.

Hazy Mind

Sipping my nescafe, sitting in the office trying to help everyone and act busy at the same time to not get caught in their stressful drama, my mind is running wild with so many thoughts. So disturbed I am. By what? By everything? Am I happy? I don't know? Is my work by any chance helping people? IDK. Is this firm being fair, that is to not take unfair cases? IDK. Does the guy who used to call and text me everyday even bother my existence? IDK. Does the guy who I sort of liked even think about me? IDK. No hope in career, no hope in love life but thank god blessed with the best family and bffs. I am at the point in life where I need guidance so much. May be going with the flow is not really the good idea forever. Though I don't anticipate how my life going to be in future, at the same time I don't want to get caught up doing something which I don't really enjoy or passionate about. Passion...yes passion.. I am literally so jealous of people who could point out at one interest and say that's my passion. So what am I passionate about? Being so much of a neutral individual is no good to a certain point. There must be clear choices of what I like and what I don't. Guess there is so much more to explore to come clear with my own-self. Its like being guilty to myself that I have so much of unanswered questions and I have no means of knowing answer to my questions. As if my thoughts are not complicated enough, my soul is yearning to get out of the country and start from level 1. Start what tho? IDK. How do I find a way out? I feel trapped. Work is from 9 to 6. I am coming here at 8.30 as if it's my own office. Then once I go back, I am so tired, I sleep so early. Its so early that even I can't believe that's my sleeping time. I have no time for anything. Is this why I gotten myself a degree? I have no idea. Yes no idea. Confused mind. Trapped soul. Oh yeah..and my never ending dilemma with vitiligo. Life life life...so life for adult is like this? I am disapproving this.

A quick HIIIII!

The wise always say that we will only appreciate something in the absence of it. No truer words would have spoken about my state right now than this. I really miss the 10 months I spent in UK. It was wonderful. Well, this is supposed to be a quick hi to my blog that nobody reads, but that does not mean I don't enjoy pouring out my heart. Hehe. So yea, it have been almost a month since I returned. Memories of UK is still so fresh and haunting. The feeling of wanting to return is immense but I am in no position to return, well financial wise. I made a mistake, should have find someone there, if you know what I mean. LOL! The main reason I want to go back is...hmm..pretty tacky here...well..I feel accepted for the first time. There are no weird stares, no kids pointing out to you, and there are even people who think you look good. Isn't it heaven! Well well and well..now I am in Petaling Jaya, Malaysia, sitting down in a law office, and researching some case with alien terms. My lovely dad found me a job so fast that I had no proper break but its good in a way I guess. Tho, a corner in mind always pop up this question of 'what are we all rushing for? like seriously for what? money?'. So, I have decided to go with the flow of life. Will update more in this weekend. Now I am a working lady you see. I sleep early, wake up early, and trying to be like an adult. But to be honest, idk how to be an adult. Hardest thing ever. The only thing I properly do is to pay adult's price for whatever tickets I am purchasing!

#unrelated but I miss doing nothing :P